Reality
by loyallokigirl
Summary: "When my mother created us, she created a new reality" Established relationship.


Prompt: _Elejah - drowning! _._  
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"I thought I'd find you here."

Elena turned at the sound of Elijah's voice, smiling at him; though she knew her sorrow was clear, she always felt the need to assure her ever-concerned lover that all was well. Despite the fact that he _always _knew the truth.

Elena turned her back on the starry sky-line, leaning back against the rail and crossing her arms over her chest. She supposed that, by now, she should have developed enough fear of this bridge to keep her from supporting her weight on the rotten wood, but one of the upsides of being a vampire; no fear of things like water.

Elijah stepped closer, an easy – if small - smile on his face as Elena resisted the urge to tuck her hair behind her ear. It was a nervous habit she had, and she knew that Elijah knew about it. She didn't want him to know anything was wrong, she never did, and she never knew why.

However, as soon as he was close enough, Elijah's lips curled into an every so slight smirk and he reached out a hand; tucking the hair back himself. Elena breathed out a chuckle, lowering her eyes for a moment before looking back to Elijah's warm eyes.

"What's bothering you?" He asked, his hand still raised, his thumb softly stroking her cheek.

Sighing in contentment, Elena closed her eyes and leaned into the touch. No matter how many times they came together, no matter how intimately they became acclimated with one another's bodies, she still reacted so intensely to the merest of touches from him. She had long ago put it down to love and simply accepted it.

But at the same time, she also wanted to kick him in the shins because he _knew _she hated lying to him and how these gestures of affection drew the truth from her.

_Damn him._

"I just …" Exhaling heavily, Elena opened her eyes, "I had a nightmare again. About …" Unable to say the words, she waved a hand back towards the water.

"Your death."

Elena smiled. Elijah was always one to cut through the crap. Sometimes it was jarring, others it was just what she needed. This was definitely the latter.

"Yeah." Elena whispered. Leaning more heavily against the rail, she snaked her hand between the open suit jacket he was wearing, grasping the white shirt beneath to tug him forward. He happily obliged, raising his other hand to rest against her other cheek. He lowered his head to rest against Elena's. In that moment, she could close her eyes, inhale that familiar and comforting scent, and forget all of this. Forget the nightmare, forget the fear of slipping and hurting someone. Forget it all.

She didn't know if she loved him because of that, or if it worked so well because she loved him; either way, she cherished it.

"It's understandable." Elijah muttered after a moment, his breath tickling the fine hairs along her hair line. "I dreamt of my death, when Mikael killed us to complete the transformation, for decades." As Elena smoothed her hands down Elijah's chest to his toned stomach, he continued with a slightly more breathless voice. "You know, we had no idea what he and moth.. Esther were planning."

Elena didn't miss the pause as he instinctively made to call the woman who'd tried to kill him mother, but she didn't comment.

"All we knew was that our father was giving us some strange concoction, and then running us through. We thought it was our end."

When he lifted his head slightly, Elena raised hers to look into his eyes. "You were scared?"

"Of course." His eyes seemed distant now, as though back in time; remembering this traumatic event, "But more so for my siblings. Watching them in pain, dying, was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

Elena pressed her lips into what she hoped was a soothing smile, pulling him even closer to her. Taking a deep breath, she allowed the words to spill. "I used to dream about the pain. The burn of the water entering my lungs instead of the air they craved. I used to dream about the fear, for myself and Matt. I used to dream about sitting in the Grill and suddenly coughing up water, of drowning right there in front of everyone."

Looking back down, afraid to admit the next part, Elena breathed deeply many times. This was why she was so reluctant to admit that something was wrong. Because it wasn't her death that was haunting her.

True to self, Elijah cut right to the chase, "And now?"

Taking a shaky breath, Elena raised her head once more and stopped hiding. Stopped hiding her fear, her pain, and the wetness in her eyes.

"Now, I dream of falling into the water and not drowning. I'm not in pain, I'm not scared. I'm not anything." Finally feeling her tears fall, Elena whispered, "Because I'm already dead. When I wake up, all I want to do is feel my heart beat, or feel sweat on my skin. But I don't. I look in a mirror and …. I'm just a walking corpse. And sometimes, I forget how to deal with that." Her eyes turned pleading as she looked up at the man she loved. "How do I deal with that?"

Elena was scooped up into a warm hug so quickly that she wondered if Elijah had been expecting that revelation.

Her voice muffled by Elijah's jacket, Elena continued. She didn't want to stop now, "I just. … I don't know why I'm feeling this way. It's been years since I turned and I've never heard any other vampire talking about .. ridiculous, existential crisis'." Sniffling, she took a second to mourn the loss of Elijah's very nice, soft suit; Surely stained with tears by now.

"Just because none speak of such things to any but loved ones, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. You were a living, breathing human being. Now, you're no longer any of those things. There's nothing that can undo that, I'm afraid." Stroking the back of her head, Elijah kissed her hair in a soothing gesture. "But, that's not to say that you aren't _alive_. That you don't have soul, heart and spirit within you."

Elena pulled back slightly, keeping her arms locked around her lover's body.

"When my mother created us, she created a new reality. One where life and death weren't definite. They were no longer insular. I'm …" Hesitation was rare on Elijah's part, so seeing it now, she felt rather comforted; she knew he was speaking from the heart when he stopped to consider like this. "I'm not sure, how to deal with it. I don't know how I did, or if I ever did at all. And I'm not sure what to say to make this reality understandable."

Harsh a truth as it was, Elena was extremely grateful for Elijah's honesty. But, before she could speak, she felt a soft touch beneath her chin. Looking up into bright, warm, brown eyes, Elena was taken aback by the emotions swimming in those depths.

"But I know that, heartbeat or no, you are _the _most human person I have ever had the honor of knowing."

Swallowing hard, Elena allowed the lump in her throat to overwhelm her and her tears to fall.

With a whispered _'thank you', _Elena fell back into Elijah's arms and there the two stood, for hours, taking from each other the kind of comfort they'd never been able to find anywhere else.


End file.
